Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Things Old Men Shouldn't Do

Last week I was checking in with my Internet hosting company about a new domain. The technician said, With all of your domains, you could move to your own dedicated server and save some dough. You could add even more domains without an increase in your hosting fees.

My son and I have a lot of domains. Well, he only has two (2). Ive got fourteen (14). With a new server, I could go up to 30 domains hosted on three (3) ISPs.

The company warned me that with a designated server you are pretty much on your own technically. That didnt bother me much. My hosting company is the best for technical support even when they say they dont support certain products.

Besides I think I can do anything eventually.

Didnt I print engineering data using an old Olivetti computer connected to a Selectric Typewriter? Didnt I add 8-inch drives to my old Radio Shack MP-3?

Full Speed Ahead!

That was last week. Today, I finally got my first domain on to my dedicated server.

On Monday my wife had to use a crowbar to pry me away from my computer.

Last night, a technician again told me I was on my own. His training was short of mine.

I waited until this morning and called again. I knew the morning guys would be able to help me. They figured out what my problem was and I was online. If you want to see my pretty site on my new server go to http://www.aaaflagpoles.com.

Now all I have to do is add 15 more domains and transfer them over from the old Servers. Thats going to be one big pain in the

Its a beautiful day today. I want to start a landscape painting with critters in it. Maybe Ill stick in a moose or elk. Ive got a great shot of a grizzly bear that can go in there. Ive got to think about it.

I got several new books for Christmas. Ive got to catch up on my reading.

Ive got 346 puzzles left to solve in my Jumbo Sudoku book.

The point is why do I put myself through these technical Olympics wh en Im so darned old? I should be fishing todayin Australia.

There are some things an old man shouldnt do. Here is my current list:

1. Dont bend over to tie your shoes. You might hurt your back. Tie them while sitting down or have your wife tie them after she rubs your feet.

2. Dont lift that sack of salt without bending your knees. Better not to lift heavy things at all. Have your wife do it. Have you ever seen a woman with a hernia? It should be called hisnia. (Old joke.)

3. Dont try to learn Spanish at your age. The brain goes language-dead at age 25.

4. Dont try to read the dosage on a medicine package. A print size of 10 is readable until you are age 60. The print size used by pharmaceutical companies is about minus 2. Somebody aught to put them in jail for trying to kill the public by overdose.

5. Dont think about opening a bottle of medicine with out a blow torch or heavy-duty pliers. A monkey wrench sometimes helps.

6. Dont tr y to understand the MedicareRx Plan. Hillary doesnt understand it.

7. Dont try to remember what you did yesterday.

8. Dont try to open the plastic packAging on that toy you bought your grandson. Tell him to call the Green Berets or the Navy Seals.

9. Dont try to find errors in your income tax return. The IRS is much better at this and they do it for free.

10. Stay away from airports. Your suspenders will set off the alarm and you will have to remove your hiking boots too. Airlines no longer serve meals. They have joined the junk food craze. You will have to pay for it too.

11. Dont challenge your grandson to a fifty yard dash. Also, dont join him in a game of touch football. Do you want to kill yourself?

12. Whatever you do, shy away from any form of physical labor. Instead , walk down to the grocery store for your bottle of milk of magnesia.

13. Forget about reviewing your old solid state physics and quantum mechanics texts. Your books are obsolete and so are you.

I had a humdinger to add here.

I cant remember what in the heck it was.

The End

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He calls himself Taylor Jones, the hack writer.

More info: http://www.tjbooks.com

Business web site: http://www.dumbincome.com


Author:: John T Jones, Ph.D.
Keywords:: Internet, Servers, technical support, Hillary Clinton, MedicareRx Plan, Aging, old age,
Post by History of the Computer | Computer safety tips

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