Grandpa was oldhe was very, very old, it seems all my life he was old. I know now, looking back, how many years he lived, 83-years [died: 1974, but he looked old at forty, perhaps fifty. Im fifty-eight, I often wonder if I look old, as old as he looked to me; whatever the case, he was very old to me. Something gray and cold and at times hurtful, that been around forever, he was part of that. He personified that to me, to others, but particular to me.
Im sure Grandpa never thought when he was gone, someone would write stories about him, many of them, and in the stories they tell of this younger man, me, with a sense of humor I hope, and everyone knows, Grandpa does not have to have grace, or lightness of touch, a dream of beauty breaking through the sun beams coming to earth. Grandpa can be Grandpa.
O, those who knew him shall have many good memories, some that other people will never have, because of him.
Long ago, when he was the owner of a restaurant, d own town in St. Paul, Minnesota, when I was a kid, I used to go eat there [1956-19??: a hamburger, pie and coke; I always had the same. Hed give it to me free, and sometimes hed make me pay, sometimes not, but hed always walk away saying: godam kids all da like is da-hamburger, coke, hamburger, coke if indeed that was all he was saying, I never got past that, couldnt make out the rest.
His friend, who helped him with the restaurant, told me he got robbed a few times, but then later on in years to come, when he was going to sell the cafe, Grandpa said about his friend: godam son-bitch, crroookhe steal everyding from me, fu..k ass oh well Id say, just give him a ride home.
This is a real picture of Grandpa. He was always old in spirit, and at the end of his life, I dont think he knew what to do with it.
He was trampling through his lilac bushes during the last days of his life, pacing a path in the house from his porch to the kitchen; the ceiling was his sky full of stars now. He got old, so very old quick, and up and died, but it seems I never saw him get old, he just was always old, and then died. I suppose I didnt see him get old because he was always old to me.
I think Grandpa did all he wanted to do in life, his road was long and we: my brother, my mother and myself, are all better off today because he let us live with him so long ago, had he not, who knows what would have taken place.
See Dennis' web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com
Author:: Dennis Siluk
Keywords:: Short Story
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