Cow Thoughts

Scene: A June dawn illuminates a peaceful farm in southern Wisconsin. A couple of cows are resting in their stalls, a third seems to stare at a crooked crack in the barn door, thinking cow thoughts.

Here comes the sun. Finally. It seems I've been waiting all night. Do they know what it feels like to have a full udder with no calf in sight? Maybe if I moo real loud, they'll wake up. No, that'll wake up all the flies and I don't need those mean bastards biting away at my rump. the last time I grazed in the field, there were some nice burrs I picked up near the woods. They made great fly killers, even though it stung right through my hide. I don't care, as long as I get them dead.

I hope they send the boy - that girl has the coldest hands I ever felt. I wonder what they do with all that milk? I sure as hell wouldn't drink it myself. Give me grass, weeds and plain water anytime. M-M good. Hay's O.K. but where's the flavor?

If that owner shows u p, I'm gonna let him have it. Sure, he cleans out my stall, but never a kind word and then he puts me out in the rain while he's cleaning up. A soon as he puts me back, I'm gonna let a load go on the new straw. That'll get him mad!

Oh no, here come the dog. Nasty bitch. So let her bark at me, it doesn't hurt me. It's just annoying. I'll just give her the evil eye. She might go away. Maybe if I smell her nose, real friendly-like, she'll be off guard and I can nip her with my teeth.

Oh, boy, here we go. I love the out-of-doors! I can't wait to get to the mud bog, especially right after a scrub down. There's nothing like cool, wet, gooey mud to squelch around in. I hope I don't scratch my head again, trying to get at those delicious weeds on the other side of the barbed wire. I know there's lots of food inside the fence, but, god, that forbidden greenery smells good. So I'm addicted. So what. Do I tell you what to eat? On the other hand, I'd bett er not go there. Nightmare country. The Big M. Danny's Steak House. I don't believe all those rumors. Nobody can be that mean - or that stupid. Who'd want to eat a cow?

I think of fiction as a vehicle for promoting opinions. It also should be entertaining.

Author:: Kenneth C. Hoffman
Keywords:: Philosophy, Point-of-view
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