Monday, July 4, 2011

A Note from Jose Caliente: White House Informant

I was surprised to get a special delivery letter from Jose Caliente. Jose said that he caught the Vice President sneaking out of a White House conference room before the press corps could get to him. Here is a copy of Joses transcript:

Vice President: Jose! Can you get me back to my office without getting me seen by those blasted bloodsucking reporters?

Jose: Yes, Mr. Vice President. Just follow Ol Jose.

Vice President: A secret passageway! I never had the slightest idea it was here.

Jose: I learned about it from a friend that worked here during the Clinton Administration.

Vice President: What was it used for? Never mind. I can guess. Look, there is a perfectly good cigar on the floor.

Jose: I wouldnt pick it up, Mr. Vice President.

Vice President: Wrong door! That goes into a bedroom. Man, look at that picture gallery.

Jose: My friend said that JFK hung out there.

Vice President: Those reporters are nuts. I appreciate you taking me back to my office, Jose.

Jose: Wont you have to face up to them sooner or later?

Vice President: True, Jose. Im just not sure what to say. Anything I say will be twisted.

Jose: Thats right, Mr. Vice President. If you say it was an unfortunate accident they will ask, Were you drinking?

Vice President: I dont know who started that. But it is a complication. I think Letterman must have started that. He has that little drinking move.

Jose: The answer is No! And make sure you dont elaborate on it.

Vice President: Thats good advice, Jose.

Jose: Mr. Vice President, they will want to know why you were not watching your surroundings. You must say, I was watching! Then dont elaborate.

Vice President: That is good advice too, Jose.

Jose: Mr. Vice President, they will ask why you havent apologized. You must say, I did apologize.

Vice President: Wait until I get that jotted down in my notepad, Jose.

Jose: Mr. Vice President, they will want to know that you are sorry. You must say, Dont I look sorry? Then you must say, I must go now. I have an important meeting in Calcutta. My plane is all gassed up.

Vice President: I guess this ladder goes up into my office.

Jose: Yes! Dont bump your head. It comes up right under your desk.

Vice President: How convenient, Jose. I thank you! How about a hot penny-oil-stock tip, Jose? It can make you rich.

The End

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He calls himself Taylor Jones, the hack writer.

More info: http://www.tjbooks.com

Business web site: http://www.dumbincome.com


Author:: John T Jones, Ph.D.
Keywords:: Vice president, Jose Caliente, gun accident, hunting accident, press corps, white house, secret pass
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