Sandy may have been having her troubles, but so was I, I mean, the world was getting scary, I was loosing strength, and didnt know why (something neurological was happening inside of me, a collapse it seemed like). Falling to sleep at my desk was one of the symptoms: my supervisor had found me there once, lying headfirst on the keyboard of my computer, it surely didnt look good; on the other hand I didnt know I was in the anomalous position when she had come into my office. And perhaps that was the push I needed to get heavier into real estate, in case I got fired for incompetence, which was on her mind thereafter. I had to run to the bathroom and lay in the corner, my spine tightened like a viper twisting it until I had tears in my eyes, and I found myself in a fetus position for 45-minutes; I couldnt even remember what was being said the moment Id leave my supervisors office. She threatened to fire me one day, I mean, for real this time, but when I gave her a letter fr om my doctor saying I was under examination for MS, she hesitated, scolded me for thinking I could out maneuver her, thinking this was a game. So I felt, whatever Sandy was going through, my life was also filled with gaps that I didnt know how to fill. In most cases Ive learned, self-interest is stronger then even the devils hold, or push on you, and so it seemed for me.
The one thing that was happening in January of 1997 was I had lost 80% of my sexual potency, the capability to hold a hard on longer than moments thought, once I got one, if at all I could get one. It was all happening too fast for me to digest, for me to understand its multidimensional facets; too high-speed for me for my mind to grasp, and the only thing my female supervisor had to say was: You should sell your real estate it is distracting you form your job. To be frank, there was something in every staff persons life at the VOA, distracting them from work, for her it was her daughter and her past life as a street woman; for the Senior Case Manager, it was his past marriage and his sassy kids that one day punched him in the mouth, and he came to work carrying about it. I asked what he did about it, and he did very little. I told him Id have given my boy two black eyes, and one straight kick in the ass that hed not walk for a week. And of course he thought I was too cruel, but then, by boy never thought of hitting me, lest find out for himself if I was kidding. And he took a frown to my way of thinking, and I too his. Perhaps Brad was the only sane one there, a young man who had sense, intelligence and cared about his people. He left and got into something else, a wise man indeed. Then there was Lance, a follower and scared of his own shadow, I think I pitied him more than anything, save; he hid around the corners when there was trouble in the air; a survivor indeed, at the cost of pride, sense, and a plastic life.
As I said, the Queen Bee of the hive at the Volunteers of America (VOA), told me I had now bought too many houses and it was distracting me, and perhaps it was, it was distracting that someone else was using work time to do personal things, like she was doing: monkey see, monkey do, like the Senior Case Manager, taking time away from my job; I confronted both these hypocrites on this subject, and of course (control issue or not) they did not like my outspoken attitude, no one really does, when you are right: they could, but I couldnt; but who would take care of me when I got too ill to work, thus I needed a back up, if need be; my mother was too old, more than willing, but too old, and my wife had left me for that very reason (one illness after another); along with falling in love with someone bozo, who would leave her down the road, once he got an unpredictable illness himself, saying, Youre going to leave me anyhow, so I might just as well leave you, youve done it before. What goes around comes around as they say .
And so that is how it was, but perhaps sex wasnt the only thing Sandy was after, I had more money now to offer her if indeed that was a motivator in her life, and if I wanted to keep her.
See Dennis' web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com
Author:: Dennis Siluk
Keywords:: Chapter Story,Beijing,Beijing article,China,short romance story,short romance
Post by History of the Computer | Computer safety tips
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